Hey Rene,
I'm trying this time. I'm trying my best today to stay positive. I want to know what makes me happy.
What makes me happy?
Video games, because I like being taking out of myself. I love being immersed in another world, where I can pretend to be someone else. Be a BadAss Hero. To use magic and powers to conquer my enemies. it makes me feel good and give's me a sense of adventure . I love RPG's and Action Adventure games. Right now I'm playing Monster hunter world. It's a very challenging game. you play solo but it's better to play with other people to help take down some really tough monsters. I got into it, because two of my roomates bought me a copy as a birthday gift. I believe it was more just to get a 3rd person to play with them, but I accepted the gift and I promised myself Id get good at playing. which now, I'm actually doing well in the game. I was struggling at first, but i've gotten more comfortable with the game mechanics.
I feel stupid that I can't pronounce the names of the monsters accept of the monster Barroth, Jaggis ( i think that the spelling) I've found my weapon of choice..the Pulsar hachette 1 which deals electric damage. I'll be honest there are times, I do feel lonely playing by myself but I'm going to start trying to make more friends online who play. I know there are plenty of people who play.
Another game I started playing is Bayonetta on the Nintendo Switch. I've actually enjoyed playing it. it's brings out some excitement in me and makes me really think about my surroundings since there some puzzle aspects involved.
My Biggest issues I have when playing games with others is that it makes me feel inadequate, when i hear someone give information about a particular task or how something works, I feel stupid for not know that myself. I know this is a irrational thought. I tell myself, no one starts out an expert at a particular game, they spend many moments screwing up like I do. but yet the feeling still returns and comes back.
A recent example is Monster Hunter world. Tony and bryant are well verse in weapons, traps, what monsters are weak against which element. They can even pronounce the names of the monsters correctly, there are many moments of inadequacy that I fell when over hearing them talk about weapons and armor and since there siting next to each other, there looking over each others screens showing each other what armors sets look on each character or during a battle they strategies and I feel like an old and misplaced.
One thing i'm going to do is try not to focus on relaying on others for my gaming knowledge and i'm going to look for answers for myself.
So Video Games are one thing that makes me happy.
