Dear Rene,

Dear Rene,

I had a tough time yesterday. Tony uploaded a few new photo's to social media; it was a photo of him and Bryant. It was a picture of Tony kissing Bryant on the cheek and Bryant having a big smile on his face. The next photo was a picture of both of them smiling together in the background was a forest setting. It was too much for me to bare. I got sad, very depressed and angry. I didn't know how to handle my emotions. I tried working out last night , but it didn't help. Even now while I'm here at work the next day..i still feel this cloak of feeling lost and sad over me.
I can't get over it, I just can't shake it.

Right now, I'm doing my best to work through it. But again I feel as if I have very few options to turn to. I've expressed how I've felt to Mike and I think Paul ( the Humming bird guy from pennsylvania) that's it. The only two people out of who I know wont judge me. Wont Pity me or call me a fool or just tell me to get over it. I know you wont judge me.

I just don't know how to let go; to feel better again. I can find my own happiness, I know that. I just don't believe it. Here's the funny part, Chris Rivera contacted me. He wants to meet up and said we should finally get together, whatever that means. He said he's been busy all summer juggling 2 jobs which I understand that..But given his history, hes done this before. Get close with someone, then breaks away, then draws you in again. From my understanding, he did that with Victor and he done that with me I think. We started talking a lot then he disappeared.

I'm not holding my breath, will see what happen