Dear Rene, trying my best.

Dear Rene, i fucked up and accidentally erased my letter so im going to do my best to rewrite it.

I had a depressive episode the night before last. I was angry at myself because i felt everyone around had a better life then mine. Everyone else had a partner whom matched them well.. While im here too afraid to get myself involved with anyone. Cause I'm so afraid of getting hurt again. I was angry at tony.. Telling myself he had no right to be sad about it.
I was made cause all these guys on social media whom i follow are so desired and wanted. Some have partners already and I'm here feeling like a deformed monster and that the only person whom shown interest in me is a guy i don't find appealing and another whom i feel i have nothing in common with at all..

Rene, i feel dead inside.. I think I've burned myself out. I just don't care anymore. Sex and desire is totally gone. I can cruise till the sun goes down and still can't feel anything.