looking back within my past few years, The moments where I've been truly happy..there's always been a great pain to follow. The men i've fallen in love with, never seeing me as I sought them, me being free and attempting to live on my own for the first time, then my mother taken ill, then me living on my own in my mothers house nearly a year and feeling like it's a tomb, Me finding comfort in the arms of men who said, I was desirable and made me feel sexy, and then finding out I was HIV positive. Then as i was ready to give up, I finally finding Love, finally being with someone whom I felt made me worthy of being loved, and him falling out of love with me.. but soon seeing how fast he found love again; while I still wondered what happened. that made me want to take my own life.
Every moment of joy was shaken away from me but disappointment and loss..made me believe and I still do that being alone is safer..jesus..I just realized that I've lost faith
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